Tag Archive: on repeat


You win and you lose.

Truth of every fraction of time spent on this Earth.

A misty morning is the promise for a radiant sunny afternoon, you just need to climb where the rain doesn’t drop.

Sometimes this never comes to fruition for you don’t want to.

So comfortable in your cashmere coat and the constant sound of rain, so perfectly happy with your thoughts made in heavy lead.

You search light and warmth when you’re unhappy, then you’ll move.

Just don’t stop yourself at the first ray, go straight for the supernova and be blinded.

You talk nosense. You are the noise.

I talk of love lost.

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I like to travel roads forgotten.

Gravel crunching and savage greenery deep.

There is lack of noise beneath leaves.

The road winds upon the hill like a coiled dormant snake under no sun.

Thoughts become louder every step of the way, muddy footprints in the labyrinth.

Water trickles, warm fog sticks on your coat.

Sometimes, while I walk a new street I stop and watch.

I try and imagine how would be to live there opposed to the city, the best apartment money could give.

I choose silence and difficulty.

My answer sure lacks logic to you.

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6/? Liquid gold

I like the waters far below.

Cold, dark baritone enthralling.

Home of complex subjects that need to be thought extensively in contralto phrasing and uttered in sparse murmured word.

I can stand higher cords but just so.

Water trickling down, plinking.

Rain, laughter of the Gods, muffling the sounds of this city.

Good will of old drowning us in sanctity.

The current in the river diluting pains forgotten.

Washing away layer upon layer until the rock at the bottom glints.

Copper veins in the grey.

Why do you smile?

As this place wastes away we shall leave to return.

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This is no medical condition.

Sometimes is better to have a conversation inside your brain then hear a shit ton of today’s music.

Noise…that’s screeching noise, darling.

Fairly simple to do, actually.

Shut all of your devices, not standy, SHUT THEM OFF.

Don’t worry you can live without them…your smartphone doesn’t make your heart beat nor your mouth eat.

Paper, pen, brain.

They won’t bite you, try to think with your mind.

Sometimes the harshest of sounds and sensations are inside yourself.

You won’t comprehend them at first, it’ll be just a matter of time.

And you’ll discover water depths.

Treacherous, never ending.

Mother’s womb.

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That’s disgusting.

Rolling my eyes, putting one earphone on.

I tell you what’s disgusting: the level of noise in this goddamn city!

Noise…what noise?

I watch him for a full split second like he sprouted a second head.

Then I shake mine and start to walk past blaring clacsons, people shouting on their smartphones held far from them, dogs barking and messiahs preaching the end of something.

My notepad still totally pristine…proof of continuous interruptions.

The place where I come from is the total opposite of this hellhole.

People here fear silence or essential harmony.

They fear everything different than noise.

Sound of life gone to waste makes you deaf.

Mercifully coddling you into one direction and this one only.

I hate this city.

You couldn’t hear a coin drop in water.

Or a person scream.

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Poised with a dilemma there are many roads you can take.

Steel cages and wings, yours to decide and mine to debate.

Still too much noise in my ears, unbearable city.

Wonderful in its diversity, unfeeling but supreme.

Time in double speed, piano strings waterfall.

Exquisite food that I can’t tuck into.

No one could eat with someone watching, waiting to strike.

The ice-blue in those eyes stepping onto my bones, grinding my teeth.

Done with this, chair creaks backwards.

Question time…shoot.

He looks surprised, taken back from a dirty dream.

Smile on my lips, napkin on my legs, no doubt it was dirty.

Won’t you eat?

A look, that’s all I need to shut him up.

I have a regret in front of me.

The perfect steak on my plate.

Bloody and rare.

Going cold.

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2/? Mind gap

City of steel and glass.

Madhouse.

No way I will sleep.

It wasn’t fate, no.

It was human error.

Mismatched rooms…it looked too good to be true.

Still too tired, barely awake, perfectly able to comprehend.

A new key and already the thought of sleep.

Pair of ice-blue eyes, unintelligible.

I would like to buy you dinner.

Do I want to? Would I like it? How the heck could I know?

The depths I can’t see, things I don’t know.

Words out of my mouth with no filter. Now it’s too late.

He doesn’t smile, not with his eyes. Tomorrow then. I insist.

Thought process of a split second that feels like a whole bloody month of accusations.

Yes.

1 § 2

1/? Water

Another big town.

Same set of eyes, journey made of thoughts.

Streetlights on, shops never closed.

Avenues and bridges over water singing in the rain.

A pristine notepad in my Eastpak, stages in the back of my mind.

Earphones thunder loud in my ears.

For this city is noise and life, chaos unordered.

No void corner to hide, no place to park.

High palaces in the cloudy sky.

And the rain…oh the rain.

Low is my voice underwater for I’m sure

I’ll see you still with no light.

Laugh God.

1 § 2

30/30

He had simply left, his power gone, his money not.

Went for far away refuges, man amongst men speaking many tongues.

Fought  for wavering rightful causes, cried for solid dreams made of clay.

Bittersweet the day he returned where no-one remembered the slick handsome beast now made man and scarred by truths.

Years had left lines on his noble profile and wear on his clothes, specks of early silver in his hair.

Heart beating a stoic rhythm under tanned skin, eyes placid and mindful.

Steps surer in a long ago city he still remembered but no more owned or wanted.

The old concrete, the harsh light reflecting in the windows high above.

Summer was in full swing as the roses in the park bloomed and died in the span of a few hours.

Sickly sweet wisteria hanging limply from balconies, children running amok in the muddy shore by the lake.

Every path freshly covered in grey gravel.

He found that afternoon to be a shade of lie he could stand, softly blurring the edges of his vision; a picturesque world long gone.

Grass bending gently to the breeze, white jasmine flowers weaved in crowns over young girls hair.

The pale green of her dress was the first thing he saw.

Tiny bare feet peeked through the hem and hid in the grass as the leaves overhead moved.

Peaceful sleep softened her features, the dark silk of her hair cushioned her head, lavender wafting gently to his nose.

Was she part of that sunny lie?

Cold as winter, so long gone.

There he sat, patience now his to nurture.

The sun slowly descending, bright amber green rays on her face.

A hand in his lap while she yawned and stretched like a cat.

Eyes on him, sharp and searching, half-relief half-suspicion in the steel gray.

You never told me your name, Nemesis.

Her smile true, her voice soft.

You never asked yet you find me, Narcissus.

Fin

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29/?

She walked and walked under the sun.

Of course she already knew of the High Castle’s fire but nothing more.

The voices of before now gone.

Mirrors erased.

Doubts taking hold.

Quicksilver eyes lost into reverie.

They called him Adone, still.

The thought saddened her to the very core.

As if a side of the beast survived when I know it did not.

Stubborn like a goat, quick like a fox, mindful like a wolf on the hunt.

Slaved to a living lie.

Sun scorched her dark hair like a flame and she reposed under a tree.

And what dreams you dream, fairer lady amongst fair?

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28/?

“Have you heard about Adone, dear?”

“Do tell!”

Pointed chins, diamonds and  pearls on thin necks, little bifurcated tongues wetting fat lips.

“Seems he went absolutely bonkers, such a fine handsome man he was…” a sharp turn of a perfectly manicured hand with two-inch claws “You remember that little, insignificant, mangy, blind girl? Yes, just the one with those dull eyes…so scary…seems she died.”

“Shame.” I don’t care in the slightest…but do tell me more!

Smile before another drop of evil fell from painted lips “Indeed! Such intelligence and handsomeness thrown away just for a little stupid no-one…well, seems my perfect son – you know my kind depraved, invincible coward, strong weakling darling! – was out with friends one of these nights doing what good, young gentlemen ought to do and…you know the High Castle, that beautiful place he had was heaping with flames. Mind! It was the finest for a bachelor house, the grandeur, the richly furnished bar, the beautiful soirees…at least before he stumbled on that little rat.”

A pause while sipping white tea.

“Did he die?”

“He wasn’t there, they say. No-one knows…maybe he found his way under a slab to find her!”

Dry high laughter while pointy tails swished gaily from the shadows projecting on the wall.

Or maybe you should try the weight of the slab you so desire.

A pair of orbs smoldered in the tea shop, a rough voice lethal in the racket.

The sun-drenched room went frigidly cold as the two old hens stood agape at the very same dead rat.

Eyes burned in her lean face, pale but very much alive.

Little but imposing, her chin up and nostrils wide, natural red lips thinned in deadly fury.

I think you need some more fun activities in your miserable life.

Her voice had a cutting edge, low and final before she took for the door.

Starting now.

The heavy tablecloth took on fire like tinder on their faces and soon the place smelled of burned flesh.

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27/?

Winter thawed in mud and decay.

He didn’t watch.

The casket lid splattered in sodden earth.

Silence and sounds of misery.

He still had more than any man or woman could want.

He didn’t have what he wanted above all.

The high castle a dark cave, echoing his steps.

He couldn’t find the mirror, solace to make him blind.

What would it be in its depths now?

Sun-blinded eyes over water.

White cherry flowers floating in sewers.

High ceilings encased in flames of lead.

Yet searching for a neon-lit name mounted over the grand entrance of Limbo.

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26/?

She fell ill.

Mercury spouted in big mouthfuls, silvery venomous pools.

Some days she couldn’t see at all, others her mind was blind.

She never crazed, never fevered, never closed her eyes.

Adone watched while her skin took a grainy quality and almost glowed in the night.

A drop of silver on her lower dry lip.

Her voice cracked like static.

Have you found your name?

No.

There is power…in a name.

Power?

Give yourself a name and you might be found.

Her hand twitched and fell from his fingers.

The deamon-eyed shrew never drew another breath for she became moonlit stone.

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25/?

Snow stopped, blinding under a clear blue sky.

Melting under the sun’s metallic light.

She couldn’t keep her eyes open, agonizing in dark rooms.

She was prescribed a plethora of things but nothing would do to ease the torment.

Maybe…

Voices echoed into the high castle, no-where to be found.

You defeated the mirror and freed the man from the beast, witch.

We will now take what of you remains.

Fear not as the pain won’t ease, you shall burn as the molten core in your blind eyes.

Ghostly white, she walked slowly in the renewed dark.

Bones protruding slightly from her back.

Dry, laborious breaths.

Yes, the mirror’s dead. She admitted with a smile

I don’t fear death for you all will accompany me, Deamons or voices I shall not spare anyone.

Write your sins into the core, just believe in your free will.

You won’t return.

I will, in time.

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24/?

His sight was clearer, alert but she was the exact same.

Sharp features, dark hair and striking eyes half-seeing.

Pale, not exactly beautiful.

Fine to his eyes, cold to the touch.

We should go back.

She watched him then nodded, her lips a shade of blue over the red.

Back at the castle she didn’t warm easily as he had hoped.

They watched snowfall together, her head on his breast while sirens echoed the arrival of a severe storm.

Will you give me a name?

She laughed weakly.

No, you should do that yourself.

How?

It will come to you, I’m sure.

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