Tag Archive: Love


How can you do it every time…

I don’t know if you’re just lucky, still…you wiped the darkness again in two days.

I like the way we doze on Sunday afternoons and wake up and make love.

I like your face when you sleep, and your fingers tightening on my hand.

The slow sliding of the sun behind shutters.



Io: “Non riesco a capire cosa c’è di tanto eccezionale in me…”
M. sorride, scuote la testa.
Io: “Un giorno me lo dirai, sì? Non mi piace non sapere le cose.”
M. : “Sì, certo tigrottina.”
E quando fa così, con quel tono paziente, vorrei tanto pestare i piedi.
E quelle volte, a letto, che invece di rispondermi mi guarda intensamente e non so perché mi sento strana.
Come se stesse cercando di comunicarmi qualcosa ma non sono sulla stessa lunghezza d’onda.


when one character brokenly says “i have nothing to offer you” and the other character looks at them with fond exasperation, because there’s nothing else they could want except the gift of their love. that shit gets me.

And sometimes I think “Jesus Christ…it’s not possible, I really found him. I found the one I always written of in many different ways. With dark eyes and a sunny attitude. With an ummovable allergy to love but able to. I’m falling hard and this is NOT good.”

At the same moment I smile at him and ignore my train of thoughts. He makes me feel AGAIN and I’m starved.


my dad likes to call the stretches of time where you’re not creating “dreaming periods” and says that they’re meant to allow you to absorb all of the beauty, life, and inspiration from the things around you so that when you’re able to create again, you will have fanned your spark back into a flame. sometimes its hard to see those moments as anything but stagnation, but he always says that they’re natural and healthy and needed—things that should be embraced rather than feared.

And this is so true…

The first two thirds of 2020 have been very bad for me and my mental health.

I’m actually glad I forced myself to stop writing (even if writing always helped me to stay out of depression and pinpoint goals to reach).

And now it’s more than a year, I lived many days without ‘creating’, I tried to diverge from my INTJ hermitism just a little bit and the result is I’m happy.

I’m not different, I’m still a grouch and a control freak and a bitch sometimes.

But I’m happy with M, I feel like I’m breathing again and the air is sweet and warm.

It’s comforting.

The world looks like a better place I could fit in.


I think I’m ready and I want to write again but my time is non existent even if my brain is already shifting through ideas and flexing my finger muscles on a keyboard.

Hermes shall return. 😉


Say hi to my new darling love…🤩

Shall I talk?
Or will you whisper it?
The dreadful thing we have squeezed between us.
The mixture of seasons, your old and my new.
The smell of spicy tobacco I call aroma.
My kind of freedom you loathe when you can’t reach me and I finished all your favourites.
The long nights I spend driving and working.
The late dinners you cook just for one to be heated in the oven ‘not the microwave, you infidel!!’
The early Sunday mornings, starting the day with a shower for two, tumble and dry.
You trimming your beard, whistling your favourite pavane.
Me and my Twinings Tea.
You and your enormous shirts, as gigantic as your wardrobe really, and my silk scarves.
The lightbulb in the bathroom mirror you are too lazy to tight properly and irks me to death (note to self: bring needed tools).

Do you know the words for this Ti?
I shan’t say them.
I knew crushes and silly affections and stupidity.
I used to know broken dreams, flat promises and often no’s.
All the wrong sidestreets of naiveté I walked.
I don’t look to you as an older figure – a father figure the most cinical say, they watch so much and they become so blind – I look at you as Ti.
Never old in my eyes, not with that hungry glint you have.

I have no words but I know there’s no turnin’ back now, not after all this time.

And if there will be an end to this someday it will be worth it, glorious and ours for it won’t be a surprise but a choice.

As you said
“Love is a journey best appreciated in the company of two or more. Sunrise to sunset. No time is wasted when it fills the desires in your soul. Be grateful if you have found it.”

“To fall in love is easy, even to remain in it is not difficult; our human loneliness is cause enough. But it is a hard quest worth making to find a comrade through whose steady presence one becomes steadily the person one desires to be.” – Anna Louise Strong


Edit 13.43 pm: and my heart breaks at the news…oh we shall never hear your beatific voice again! Oh Montserrat! Sad is the day and darkest is this world! 😭


Oggi è il 4 Ottobre e vengo sommersa da una montagna di affetto e pensierini come mai negli ultimi venticinque anni.

Del mio onomastico non se ne sono mai ricordati in molti forse perché non ho mai dato agli altri come avrei potuto…

Oggi è diverso…qualcosa di buono in più in questi ultimi due anni devo aver fatto.

Grazie a tutti… ❤


What if I do pray?
I know, Ti, God is nothing to me but I’m praying through this awfully hot days.
While my brain is slowly dying to death along with my eyes for the sun and humid air.
While I exercise like a madwoman.
While I drive fast on the highway.
When I find myself thinking of you, looking through tea depths, in my few moments of rest.
At 5.50 am when I usually wake.
I see what I can’t.
I hear nothing, and you are in the shell of my ear.
It is maddening more than anything else I ever knew.
If God existed it would hear my prayers, isn’t it?
If it was a benevolent God, that is…
I know you would smile that knowing crooked smile, now.
All finesse and glinting eyes.
Smoke shimmering in your breath, the sweet cherry flavour of the tobacco you use.
I can savour it on my tongue now.
Maybe the stillness of this heat will make me mad…I don’t truly care if I can have you.

And saying those dammed words that will never leave my mouth.
Shall I wait when it’s going to be too late?
Yes, because I am that kind of idiot.
Silly little thing with an iron will who can plow for its dreams in the midst of the last deathly heatwave  of the summer and then turn spineless coward with fear of an imminent end to happiness.

And I pray, yes, more than you’ll ever know.

Because I need some beauty in life too, and the other one is still ‘under arrest’ at Ti’s place… ^^”

I have a weakness for these marvels, I know it and I don’t care in the slightest…

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