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Blue hydrangea

cold cash divine

Cashmere cologne

and white sunshine…

LDR

You know, when I see one I always think about my Grandma’s.

Enormous flowers bigger than a man’s head, bushes tall as a full wall…

I always wondered if you could build mazes with them…

Still so blue…so intrinsically beautiful! ❤

Sto riascoltando i Nightwish dopo un’assenza di anni dalle mie playlist giornaliere.

E come tornare indietro di dieci anni per me (li avevo scoperti per caso fra il 2008 e il 2009).

O ancora più indietro, negli anni della mia infanzia a passare la notte con una torcia, un atlante e il naso rivolto all’insù per scovare le costellazioni.

Gli anni che ho passato ad ascoltarli on repeat quando il mondo aveva perso tutti i colori.
Quando io non sapevo più chi ero in realtà e tutto ciò che aveva un senso risiedeva proprio lì nelle mani di Tuom e compagni.

Sembra impossibile eppure i NW mi entusiasmano ancora adesso, adesso che sono lontana anni luce e ad ascoltarli mi viene la pelle d’oca.

Ho riletto DOR in parallelo ed è stato un connubio perfetto.

Quella fic, tutto il tempo speso a scriverla, tutte le notti passate a chiedermi che senso aveva quando in realtà ero totalmente incapace di prendere in mano ciò che restava della mia vita.

Sorrido ora nel pensare che DOR ha avuto un discreto successo solo perché ho vissuto per scrivere quella storia.

Allora non volevo ammetterlo ma ora non mi vergogno più: se non l’avessi scritta probabilmente non sarei qui a parlarne oggi.

Ho incontrato anche molte persone allora, persone che oramai non ho più sentito da un po’ ma è ok…eravamo unite da un comune amore per i NW e son sicura che nessuno di noi proverebbe niente se non un po’ di malinconia nel guardar indietro ma con un sorriso sulle labbra per tutto quello che abbiamo condiviso.

Sto guardando le stelle stanotte, un bel po’ più a Nord dell’ultima volta.

L’aria è umida e si fa tardi.

E Tuomas Holopainen ha sempre ragione su tutta la linea.

Story of your life
Time of solitude and strife
Freedom of an open road
Hope, and many miles to go
Promises to keep
Countless goldfields to reap
To be rich is to seek
To relive a memory

All the strangers on your path
Crossroads, the letters from home
The cooling embers of a Yuletide hearth
All the sounds of wilderness
The truth in which you roamed
Now your lost Rosebud has brought you back home

[Tuomas Holopainen ~ A lifetime of Adventure]

Oh,

Those shades leaden with so near blinding sun heat.

Black asphalt to run on carefree.

Me double mirrored on his sunglasses.

No places to be.

Sand under my naked feet.

Sweet smelling jasmine and ice-mint whiskeys.

My big dark blue straw hat, yes just the one that gives me that 30s diva look and he always fingers up to watch my eyes.

And that road never-ending under a sky so blue.

I was just so happy in those 3 days, Ti.

The sea scent lingering, the torches still lit and the laughter ringing in my ears.

“Are you daydreaming, Fräulein?”

“What if I do?”

“Keep your dreams close.”

I just smile, tightening my hold on his hand.

“I think I shall.”

Dhn0jmkWAAANA2U

Luciano Garbati
Medusa with the head of Perseus
2008 Florence

Come to see me
You will find my
Truth in the reflection…

Come to love me
I will have you
Suffer in perfection

There are days like today.
Where I’m so fed up when I stop working in the evening.
When I just snap at little things going wrong, screaming.
I don’t have the patience to prepare my customary cup of tea before dinner nor the desire to eat, and already I skipped lunch and breakfast, like a total moron.
I’m so primitively mad I have no regrets saying ‘Fuck you!’ to the world in general.
That’s when I put my phone on hold, close the door and make a dive for the bed, punching everything I can reach.
It’s childish but harmless.
I usually get up after that for a hot bath + washing my hair.
That doesn’t really help much but I usually feel human again.
These are the days without Ti.
I can’t help it, I tried.

He’s away a lot this days and I’m deprived of my favourite ray of sunshine.
He makes me happy, he makes me angry, he knows how and has the smile of an angel.

“I want the moon.”
“You sure, Fräulein?”
“Yeah…”

And what happens next?
There She is…on my nightstand…

Ti, you’re the best…❤

And fly me to the moon…
And let me play among the stars
Let me see what spring is like on Jupiter and Mars
In other words hold my hand
In other words darling kiss me…

Shall I talk?
Or will you whisper it?
The dreadful thing we have squeezed between us.
The mixture of seasons, your old and my new.
The smell of spicy tobacco I call aroma.
My kind of freedom you loathe when you can’t reach me and I finished all your favourites.
The long nights I spend driving and working.
The late dinners you cook just for one to be heated in the oven ‘not the microwave, you infidel!!’
The early Sunday mornings, starting the day with a shower for two, tumble and dry.
You trimming your beard, whistling your favourite pavane.
Me and my Twinings Tea.
You and your enormous shirts, as gigantic as your wardrobe really, and my silk scarves.
The lightbulb in the bathroom mirror you are too lazy to tight properly and irks me to death (note to self: bring needed tools).

Do you know the words for this Ti?
I shan’t say them.
I knew crushes and silly affections and stupidity.
I used to know broken dreams, flat promises and often no’s.
All the wrong sidestreets of naiveté I walked.
I don’t look to you as an older figure – a father figure the most cinical say, they watch so much and they become so blind – I look at you as Ti.
Never old in my eyes, not with that hungry glint you have.

I have no words but I know there’s no turnin’ back now, not after all this time.

And if there will be an end to this someday it will be worth it, glorious and ours for it won’t be a surprise but a choice.

As you said
“Love is a journey best appreciated in the company of two or more. Sunrise to sunset. No time is wasted when it fills the desires in your soul. Be grateful if you have found it.”

“To fall in love is easy, even to remain in it is not difficult; our human loneliness is cause enough. But it is a hard quest worth making to find a comrade through whose steady presence one becomes steadily the person one desires to be.” – Anna Louise Strong

 

Edit 13.43 pm: and my heart breaks at the news…oh we shall never hear your beatific voice again! Oh Montserrat! Sad is the day and darkest is this world! 😭

 

All that you touch
And all that you see
All that you taste
All you feel
And all that you love
And all that you hate
All you distrust
All you save
And all that you give
And all that you deal
And all that you buy
Beg, borrow or steal
And all you create
And all you destroy
And all that you do
And all that you say
And all that you eat
And everyone you meet (everyone you meet)
And all that you slight
And everyone you fight
And all that is now
And all that is gone
And all that’s to come
And everything under the sun is in tune
But the sun is eclipsed by the moon

“Best things in life are the ones you do for yourself.”
∼ myself

Edit

Of course they are!

 

“Best things in life are the ones you do for yourself.”
∼ myself

Lunar poetry

Because there’s just ONE way to stay awake and finish all the late shit throught the night…

You play the album until your ears bleed and you’re burning to see one of the many sold-outs…

If only I was born a decade before!!! Goddammit!

Sing my darling sing!

 

[Michael James Talbot – Ophelia]

 

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